Violent Ink

I'm so totally over winter

Snowflake: alternate view
Originally uploaded by kicksie.

but capturing this picture made my day. Snowflakes really look like that! Who knew? ;)

Seriously, these snowstorms that eat entire weekends are getting really, truly old. We need to spend some time outside!

Project 365 [2/365]: So much to say

Project 365 [2/365]: So much to say
Originally uploaded by kicksie.

Isaac is in a full-on mimic stage, and it's so much fun. When we're watching football, he will say, "GO GO GO!" after Judah does, and he raises his hands in the air over his head if you say, "TOUCHDOWN!"

For some reason, this weekend, he was fixated on the word "hope." I think it must be in one of his books, because it came up a few times, and every time I said it, he would repeat it. Also, when I put him to bed, I always sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," and once I finish, he always says, "UP!" (I sing the last line: "... how I wonder what you are," and he says "up," which starts the next line the first time you say "how I wonder what you are. Goof.)

But he'll repeat the most random things and have us rolling on the floor, or, more often, turning our head away from him and trying to keep the cracking up quiet so we don't hurt his feelings.

I need to write down some more examples because I know this time is so fleeting -- and so entertaining.

The boy, in FB terms

So I was looking at my blog the other day and thinking how I have ended up largely ignoring it since I went back to work. This made me sad, especially since it was kind of acting as Isaac's digital baby book. Then I was thinking about it some more and realizing that I had instead been spending a lot of time on Facebook and that I mentioned a lot of what was going on with Isaac there. So last night I went through my Facebook wall and tracked down my status updates having to do with him from September 2008 until the end of 2009. (I lost a couple here and there because after I had just about finished copying and pasting them all here after about four hours working on it, the entry disappeared. But I mostly re-gathered them. There's a lot missing, too, since much of what I have posted about Isaac on FB has been in the form of uploaded photos with comments or videos. But I'm going to try to get the videos up here soon, too. Anyway, let's go back in time ...

Sarah  is feeling guilty after scaring Isaac while playing peekaboo
September 8, 2008 at 5:13pm

Sarah  is catching up on thank-you notes and realizing how much her handwriting is deteriorating
September 9, 2008 at 11:44am

Sarah  says that after the past few days, Isaac is definitely *not* going to go by Ike
September 14, 2008 at 9:07am

Sarah  is glad that Isaac considers football on TV as white noise
September 14, 2008 at 3:29pm

Sarah  is feeling the after-effects of nappus interruptus
September 16, 2008 at 2:57pm

Happy New Year!

Go Ducks, Christmas-style
Originally uploaded by kicksie.

It's 2010. Wow. How on earth did that happen? I know 2009 was tough for a lot of people, and I had a lot of tough moments, but overall, I'm not cursing '09.

Every minute of this year, I was a mom. Whoa. And that has been so fulfilling and amazing that it overshadows much of the difficulty that 2009 presented.

I haven't lost the rest of the baby (toddler) weight, I didn't complete my Project 365 (a photo a day for a year), and I'm sure a lot of other things fell through the cracks. But I went back to work at the beginning of the year, terrified about how I would manage any kind of balance -- even more terrified after one-third of my coworkers were laid off -- and I feel like I found some sort of equilibrium. At the very least, in 2009 I think I found a way to appreciate the moments I was given more than I ever have before.

What else happened in 2009? Well, I did a half-marathon -- not my best effort, but I finished and I raised more money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I did a bunch more photo shoots, some for charity even, and I learned so, so much and got a lot of creative fulfillment out of it, too. I became food editor. I worked a lot. I blogged a lot. I gave out lots of hugs and got a bunch, too. I stood up to Isaac's doctor after he was in the hospital for two weeks with no end in sight, and we finally got our little guy home -- and without the feeding tube the doctor insisted at that time that he needed. (Turns out he didn't.)

What am I looking for out of 2010? Well, today, I'd like to see a Ducks win in the Rose Bowl! That would rock! For the rest of the year, I'm going to take it a little bit at a time. I'm restarting Project 365, though. And I'd like to break through my mental block against running. (I don't know how I've maintained it through training for three half-marathons and a full marathon, but I totally have.) I want to shoot more portrait sessions, to learn more every day. I want to keep appreciating every moment I have with my guys -- and make more of them.

The past couple of weeks, I've managed to get home in time for dinner a few times (that is pretty rare most of the time). I think that needs to happen a lot more in 2010.

Also, I need to blog here more. A lot more. I am going to try to figure out a way to get my Facebook statuses from the past year that relate to Isaac and compile them because that is where most of the record of this year of his life has ended up. That's too ephemeral for me!

Happy 2010, everybody!

And GO DUCKS!